I had to stop for a minute and think…is that true or do people change over time?

My parents are like night & day. My dad is calm & more approachable; however, my mother is more judgemental.

Thinking back they have always been that way so is it me thats changed or my outlook on things?

Do you think people change or was an attribute always there?

Will you be able to tell if things have changed with your friend or family member? If you are around just for what you can get than shame on you.

Don’t overlook the small stuff because it could be bigger stuff underneath.

By asking questions & being attentive you just might save a life.

So pay attention…

I had friends, family, & a job but all that changed drastically in 2009.

I no longer have a job & it seems like I lost my family at the same time.

Not having a steady income is rough especially when you have so many people depending on you.

I feel into a serious depression, that I feel Im still in, & my family deserted me.

I am so alone. I truly don’t understand everything that is & has happened but I do know Im alone to deal with it.

I sure hope things get better.

Ive been thinking about death more & more. Im so alone in this thing called life. Everything or everyone I come in contact with deserts me or in their eyes I never do anything right.

I have a grandchild on the way. She will make her appearance in August & its already been decided that she will not get to know me.

Am I that bad..I guess so. There’s no purpose of me staying around….

Death happens regardless!

My dad wasn’t the perfect father but he love his kids. I was always teased to be his favorite & that’s ok because hes my favorite. You can always be assured that you will laugh & have a great time when you are around him. He is so easy to talk to & don’t judge. My dad is the only person who says my full first name. When I get in a tizzy fit I can always hear my dad voice saying “be cool Pamela be cool!” I love this man with all my heart & soul.

My husband: we’ve been married 12 years & together 13 years. I actually fell for him the first day I met him in Atlanta. We haven’t had the perfect marriage but we have been true to each other. For any man to but up with my head strong ways, stubbornish & still love me unconditionally I am impressed & he has.

We never really had the traditional married roles but I must say my husband has taken on a new role of taking care of me. I go through my depressed states & hes right there holding me & telling me everything will be ok. I know he must be worried about me but he never shows it. I truly love him & He deserves a wife that is not all ways having melt downs.

Now my godson is the joy of my life. 6 years ago my cousin blessed me with him. Im so thankful to her for allowing me to be apart of his life. Hes going up so fast. He loves Spiderman & John Cena. He brings me so much joy! Im so happy when he is around but I don’t know if he should be around me. Im so afraid that hes going to grow up & leave me like everyone else. I love that boy with all my heart. He’s my lil Buddha. I sure hope he remembers me & know that I love him.

I love each of them & they hold a special place in my heart.

Love you guys forever….

My three men!

I birthed two children. They were my life. I gave up myself to make sure my girls never wanted for anything. I was their sole provider. Their dad wasn’t around.

My eldest daughter stayed with my mom for a couple months just until I got on my feet.

I provided everything always was there for them but now the story is different.

My kids have turned their backs on me. Nothing I do is right. I get no calls plus they never come & visit. This is in part to them taking sides with others.

Im not perfect by no means but they are not either. Im at my lowest point in my life & can’t do what Ive always done.

I just believe there should be some loyalty to your mother especially if shes always been there.

Im just trying to figure out what I did wrong. Why my own kids won’t be loyal to me. Love me the way I love them.

Im hurt & 4 years of pulling away is killing me, literally.

Loyalty does it exist?

Its the beginning of a new week; which means a new list of things to do & goals. As I was writing my to do list, I realized that my life is taking on a New DIRECTION.

As you begin to take control of your life, more & more things become clear to you.

With that said, I must be true to the mission & vision I first had with this blog. Starting today this blog will be about life, decisions, & truly Sol (Soul) Searching.

My initial purpose was to help others & myself achieve our true potential while getting out of our own way.

I want to thank the past contributors & authors that used Sol Searching as a platform; however, we must return to our original platform.

Subscribers get ready to Sol Search.

PK

People change…situations changes…but when the one you always expected to be in your corner isn’t…that hurts.

Life throws you curve balls & you May not throw them back correctly. You may do things out the norm but those that love you should be there regardless.

This thing called life…it hurts!

The Open Toe Shoe Pledge

• I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

• I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

• I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

• I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

• I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

• If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

• I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.. Scholl’s if my feet need him.

• I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

• I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

• I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

• I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

• I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $30 or $35 and worth EVERY penny). (I suggest every other week or at LEAST once a month)

• I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear… nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Ladies if you have taken this pledge, please sign your name in the comment section.

By signing this pledge, you are acknowledging that you will abide by all the guidelines set forth above, and will abruptly let a woman know if she is in violation. Let’s keep this Summer crusty feet free!! Not only will the fellas appreciate it, but those of us that do take care of our feet will too.

**LADIES SPREAD THE WORD..TELL YOUR GIRLS TO SIGN THE PLEDGE**

**FELLAS PASS THIS ALONG TO YOUR LADY FRIENDS TOO**

If you are need of some TLC, please make your appointment ASAP with your nearest nail salon. For those in Memphis, TN, Salon de Sol is a great place to get pedicures. Make your appointments at www.styleseat.com/pknails .

Ladies, don’t put this off another second, call and make those much needed appointments.

Reggie Young, AKA Smooth can have his choice of any woman that he wants – and does on a regular basis. Well known as a big womanizer, Smooth is taking advantage of all that stardom provides. One night at the club, Mystery enters into his world and he can’t seem to figure out her identity. When he finally meets up with her, what he thought was a one night stand turns into much more than he ever bargained for…
Essence “Candy” Taylor is owner of Classy and Sassy Hair Salon, the hottest spot in all of Atlanta. She has styled the hair of the some of the biggest stars nationwide.  Candy has a major breakthrough with being able to market her product at the grand Bronner Brothers Hair Show.  While doing this, in blows a breath of fresh air named Rick that is making her smile again.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. In Corey J. Barnes’ sequel to the sizzling debut novel What Is This Love Thing All About, he examines if time really does cure all. Can you ever really stop loving someone once you have done so? Can you move on from hurt and love again? All of these questions and more will be answered in the next installment from Author Corey J. Barnes, Single for the Night.

Interview with Corey:

What is your Education background?

I attended and graduated from Kathleen High School in Lakeland, Fl. I obtained my Bachelor’s degree in Education, specializing in Specific Learning Disabilities and Elementary Education from University of South Florida. I then obtained my Master’s Degree in Educational Leadership from Saint Leo University. I am currently working on my PhD in Adult Education and Instructional Leadership from Nova Southeastern University.

What’s your inspiration or who is?

My inspiration in all that I do is my son, CJ. He is the very best part of me and is the reason I wake up in the morning. He is my heartbeat and my motivation.

As a child, what did you want to do when you grew up?

When I was a child I had dreams of either being a pro football player or a lawyer. As you can see, neither one of them took place.

Did you ever think you’d ever become an author?

I never thought I would become an author. I love to read, but I didn’t think I would ever do it myself, even though it was one of my goals. It was one of those things where you think about something but know it will never be, but it has and it is very exciting.

How long does it take you to write a book?

It took me a total of 8 months to write my first book. I actually wrote the first character in 5 months, and went back and added in the 2nd, which took 3 more months.

When did you write your first book and how old were you?

I wrote my first book, What Is This Love Thing All About at the age of 32.

Whose writing do you admire most?

The author whose style I admire the most is Eric Jerome Dickey. I also enjoy Dwayne Joseph’s style.

Were you a good student in school?

I was actually a very good student in school.

Tell me about your revision process.

I usually read from the back to the front for corrections needed. Doing it this way makes the story  pretty much gibberish and in that sense, I can just concentrate on making sure that sentence structure and things of that nature are correct.

Did you like school? What was your favorite subject?

I enjoyed school. I am a life long learner and look to continually improve myself. My favorite subject in school was English, which helped me with being an author and the next subject was Math. I hated Science but did it because I had to.

Find Corey at:

www.coreyjaye.com

Corey J. Barnes is a long time native of Lakeland, Florida. Currently he resides there with his son Corey Jr. He holds a Bachelor’s degree in Education, a Master’s degree in Educational Leadership, and is currently working on his PhD in Instructional Leadership and Adult Education.
Becoming an author and also establishing the publishing company CJ Publishing has fulfilled a lifelong dream for Corey as he attempts to bring true romance and integrity back to urban fiction, from a male perspective, hence his In his debut novel What Is This Love Thing All About? Corey displays that chivalry is not dead and the thrill of the chase is still present in today’s world. Presently, Corey is working on his second novel. In addition to his work as a middle school administrator, Corey also coaches high school boys basketball and his son’s little league football team. When he is not writing, he enjoys spending time with his son and working out.