We’ve all heard that success is a journey, not a destination. I say that marriage is a journey, not a destination. In other words you have to constantly work at building a successful relationship; it doesn’t just happen. We know that the cares of this world: career, children, household chores, other family members, and more take up so much of our time that by the end of the day, we have nothing left to give to our spouses. In turn, our marriages are missing the very core of what it should have: love.
A successful marriage is not based on a couple having no challenges or disagreements. But it is based on how they communicate with one another day after day. The definition of communicate is: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior (words or deeds); to open into each other: connect. Therefore, communicating is connecting to one another on a daily basis to strengthen and enrich your marriage. I am not talking about the day in and day out of the routine of marriage – a peck on the cheek, “Have a nice day” – to a call in the middle of the day to discuss the children or why you will be home late – to a peck on the cheek and lights out.
Marriage is a lot like a bank account. A successful couple makes daily deposits – ways to make their marriage a priority. Below are ten ways to deposit love (and they’re FREE!):
- Kiss them passionately
- Send an ecard (www.MyFunCards.com, www.AmericanGreetings.com, www.123greetings.com)
- Watch their favorite show or do their favorite activity
- Hug them and tell them how much you love and appreciate them
- Make love to them (yes have SEX!)
- Put the kids down early, fix a nice healthy dessert, light a candle, and just talk
- Start a tradition (every week to take a walk, etc.)
- Play a board game/cards
- Find a poem or quote (internet, library, or write one) that will express your feelings (either send it or read it to them)
- Pamper your spouse after work
Dating should not stop once you are married. Continue to court one another and offer tokens of love and appreciation. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but little signs of gratitude and courtship can go a long way to enhance your relationship.
© Jewell R. Powell, the Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. For more information, visit www.marriage101.us