Category Archives: Love

Parenting is hard


Parenting is harder than marriage to me. Being a parent in the 21st century is no joke.

Parents nowadays are fighting against a lot of demons to protect their children. These demons come in so many forms & in several looks.

When kids hit puberty it is no way to know just how bad it will get. There is no way to prepare for what is going to attack your family.

The best thing is to lay the foundation from birth & pray. These streets are ruthless & they want our children.

Talk with your children & not at them. Be mindful of the things you say to your kids. Remember those in the streets will tell them what they want to hear & give them the love they are seeking.

Being a parent is hard. Love your children. Kiss your children but set boundaries & consequences early.

Kids need stability & parents who are their parents & not just trying to be their friends.

Being a parent is hard so don’t beat yourself up if your child don’t agree with your decisions. Remember it’s not easy but you are your child first defense, you are your child protector.

Parenting isn’t easy but you must do it!

My niece ran away yesterday. We don’t know where she is. I feel like I failed her & didn’t protect her enough. I know & understand that I was fighting so many demons to protect my niece but I allowed a demon to slip in & now she is gone.

Parents please please try to cover all the bases with you protecting your children.

Being a parent is hard!


Love & Forgiveness Blog Tour


Let me tell you guys something, God gives you what you need right on time. The latest book I am reading is Love & Forgiveness. We all think we [know] how to LOVE but when  it comes to FORGIVENESS sometimes [we] (meaning me) fall short.  Well this book will guide you with Bible principles on Love & Forgiveness.

Take a sneak peek into the book & learn a little bit about the author then go out or order online this wonderful book.

About the Book

Love & Forgiveness is the first of a six volume pocket book series called the MeatyWord Series. Each volume of the series will focus on a very essential Biblical principle and its application in our daily lives.

In Love & Forgiveness, love and forgiveness are defined Biblically and then contrasted with worldly use. The book explores what love is, what love does, how love feels, the importance of repentance and forgiveness and the benefits of both.

The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love & Forgiveness is essentially a Bible study of the principle concepts of love, repentance, and forgiveness. The book further explores the importance of communication and the oneness of giving and receiving. The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love & Forgiveness is the first book of a Bible study series written by LaShawnda Jones, titled The MeatyWord. Stays tuned for more from this promising young author, but for now, learn more about her current work, The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love & Forgiveness.

Q&A on The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love & Forgiveness By LaShawnda Jones

Q. What led you to create this book now?

I’ve been studying the Bible for some time now. And I’ve been sharing my writings about my spiritual evolution for nearly four years. In my studies and my compositions, I’ve come to recognize that there is a lot of misinformation being spread about the gospel. Misinformation coupled with the waywardness of popular culture keeps us all headed in the wrong direction. The desire to write about foundational Biblical principles came into my heart and I decided to follow the prompting. I rely heavily on the Word of God and illustrate sparingly from my own experiences to paint as much of 365° picture of what God is expressing in His Word.

Q. Who should read this book and why?

My introduction in Love & Forgiveness is all about this question. I asked myself, “Am I writing to the people who love, or to the people who are loved? Am I addressing the repentant at heart, or the unrepentant? Should I focus on those who have forgiven, or those who have received forgiveness? Is this work ultimately for people who believe in God, His Son Jesus and His Holy Spirit, or for those who don’t believe at all?

The answer that came back to me was, “Everyone represents, has represented or will represent each of those characteristics at any given point of their life. This book is a tool to be used in working out love, repentance and forgiveness issues in human relationships through the examples God has provided. Those relationships could be with parents, siblings, spouses, other family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors or community members. There are many relationships during the course of our lives through which we have to navigate our way. Some of those relationships fail and die because one or both parties involved are unfamiliar with the process of love, repentance and forgiveness. This book is for them.

Q. What impact will this book have on the community?

I think this book will bring people closer to their true selves. It will encourage a personal honesty and transparency. When we are able to be more truly ourselves, we are able to be more present in our relationships. Better relationships improve our quality of life.

Q: What issues in today’s society have you addressed in the book?

Popular culture is covered briefly, primarily from the view of media and celebrity. In particular, there is a focus on idolization of people and things and how such behavior inadvertently condemns a person with the sin of idolatry.

Q: Who did you write this book for? Why?

At a very basic level, I wrote this book for myself…and for my husband (when he comes) and our relationship (when we begin building). I wrote this book to improve my life and my understanding of what’s required of me and my partner so we can successfully build, maintain and sustain a thriving and loving marital relationship.

Q: Is there a message in your book that you want readers to grasp and share?

We each have a responsibility to communicate where we are in our relationships. We are responsible for speaking of our hurts and our joys; of encouraging and correcting how we are being treated by others. We are as much responsible for showing love, repenting and offering forgiveness as we are for receiving love, accepting repentance and accepting and receiving forgiveness. The reciprocation creates a unity of oneness that’s difficult to separate within a relationship.

Q: What was the most powerful chapter or scene in the book for you?

Repentance. The section on repentance is the most powerful for me. I didn’t quite understand it or the importance and necessity for repentance until I studied to write about it. As a matter of fact, repentance was not part of my outline. I had only planned on writing about love and forgiveness (and how to communicate them), but the book didn’t come together until I added repentance.

Q: If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

It’s not mine to change. I realized early on that I am a vessel and I am quite awed by the message that has been delivered through me.

Q: What is the best piece of advice you would give to an aspiring author?

Write. Get critiques. Re-write. Improve. Follow your dreams. If your dreams don’t fall in line, create opportunities to bring them to fruition.

Q:  Share with us your latest news, awards or upcoming book releases. Also share with us your online contact information.

The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love & Forgiveness ($12.00USD) will be available on and in early February 2011. My autobiographical devotional, My God and Me: Listening, Learning and Growing on My Journey ($15.00USD) is currently available on and I maintain a blog at Active subscribers are welcome! I am actively seeking events to participate in and invitations to read and discuss my book at your special function. I also facilitate self-esteem workshops, incorporating anecdotes from My God and Me.

About the Author

LaShawnda Jones is currently living and thriving in New York City. Her prior work includes an autobiographical devotional, My God and Me: Listening, Learning and Growing on My Journey and an autobiographical volume of poetry, Cliches: A Life in Verse. LaShawnda’s writing and publishing work ranges from poetry, to blogging, to designing an annual full-figured fashion calendar. She was a contributor to a daily political blog during the last presidential election and an anthology of letters addressed to First Lady Michelle Obama.

LaShawnda’s current work is a series of short books, focusing on foundational Biblical principles. The series is called the MeatyWord series. The first volume, The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love & Forgiveness, will be available January 2011.

LaShawnda’s life is an illustration of transition – constant movement and growth from one point to another. She is ecstatic about moving forward on her journey with the LORD. She continues to grow stronger in her faith, wiser in her knowledge and more loving to people as she seeks to mirror exactly the Christ in her.

To keep up with LaShawnda’s journey, subscribe to her blog at

LaShawnda Jones’ Podcasts

About the Book      Click here to listen…

For Readers             Click here to listen…

Excerpt                      Click here to listen…


Sol Searching readers, after you finished reading this book, please add a review on Amazon. Reviews really helps the author and readers.

For More Information about  Love & Forgiveness:

Visit the author online at:






View the blog tour schedule at :

Lift Editing with Tiya Cunningham-Sumter


I had the great pleasure of talking with relationship coach, Tiya Cunningham-Sumter. The conversation was great.

Relationships are hard work. You must work continuously in your relationship to ensure a fulfilling relationship. Tiya shared some helpful tips on how to diffuse a heated discussion, how to recognize the level of listening you are engaging, and the importance of a relationship mission plan.

Listen to the interview….I am sure you will get something from the interview you can use in your relationship.

Stress in Relationships Interview with Tiya Sumter on Blog Talk Radio

Listen to internet radio with Sol Searching on Blog Talk Radio

Tiya SumterTiya Cunningham-Sumter, a Certified Life and Relationship Coach, received her certification in 2006 from iPEC Coaching Institute, a premier life coach training organization. Sumter immediately founded Life Editing and has coached countless individuals, couples and families on achieving their personal, professional, and relationship goals. The Life Editing concept is about rewriting your life, to reflect your dreams. Sumter, a wife and mother created The Black Wives’ Club blog and is a weekly contributor for She was featured in Ebony Magazine (2008 & 2010) and has been happily married for 12 years.


Thanks for the opportunity. My links are, and


Negotiations & Marriage


Single Women are beginning to believe that they will never get married. Black women believe there are no good Black men available, heterosexual, and have a job. Is this true? Are women having to start negotating their standards just to get a man?

Check out this video…the lady is telling the man what she is looking for & need in a man. He says he is all that but then she comes up with something else that she needs.

Are women being unreasonable with their requests for a spouse? You tell me…..


Don’t Ask Don’t Tell….Shhhhhh


The Don’t Ask…Don’t Tell Policy of the military has struck again but this time a judge is not buying it. A federal judge has ordered that Major Margret Witt be reinstated back into the Air Force with her full rights. This comes after her dismal from the military due to the governments “don’t ask don’t tell” policy.

Major Witt was a 20 year flight nurse with an impeccable record and was a year from retiring when she was honorably discharged in 2007.

The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy enacted in 1993 prevents gay men and lesbians from openly serving in the military and bars officials from inquiring into a service member’s sexuality. Maj. Witt, at the time of her dismal, was having a lesbian affair with a civilian. A spokesman for the Air force states that “Witt’s discharge was fully consistent with the law”.

The Air Force is disappointed in the ruling but holds hope of an appellate court understanding and siding with them for the betterment of the military interests.

“The application of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ to Major Margaret Witt does not significantly further the government’s interest in promoting military readiness, unit morale and cohesion,” he [Judge Leighton] wrote.

The debate of the don’t ask, don’t tell policy is an ongoing debate. Just this week the Senate temporarily set aside any discussions of repealing this legislation, but for now Maj. Witt has won a slight victory!

President Barack Obama is pushing for a repeal of the controversial policy. A bill that would overturn the measure after a Pentagon review is completed in December is currently before Congress.

More than 12,500 gays have been booted from the military since “don’t ask, don’t tell” went into effect.



15 Ways to Communicate Effectively with Your Spouse


Jewell Powell stopped by Sol Searching this week and shared with us information about her book: Marriage 101. Powell was gracious to share excerpts from the 8 week plan discussed in her book Marriage 101 with us this week as well. Today is the last day of the excerpts and a very good topic: COMMUNICATION!

Communication is key to any relationship and marriage is definitely a relationship. Communication must be cultivated and consistently and consciencly worked on. Powell shares 15 tips that will improve your communication within your marriage and/or relationship.

15 Ways to Communicate Effectively with Your Spouse

  1. Listen attentively while your spouse is speaking, rather than concentrating on what you are going to say in response. This way, you can hear what your spouse is really saying. You may be also able to hear what your spouse is not saying, as well as what he is.
  2. Learn to speak the same things (for example, you want to live debt free or have a happy, fulfilling marriage). If you are speaking the same things, you are in agreement. The scriptures ask, “Can two walk together unless they are in agreement?” The answer is no. Therefore, agreement is very important in a marriage.
  3. Make eye-to-eye contact when you are speaking. Eyes will reveal anger, pain, sickness, and so on. Eye-to-eye contact also creates a connection between you and your spouse.
  4. Think before you speak, thereby giving yourself time to speak your words with love. People are easily offended. Once anger or offense enters the conversation, the person who is offended stops listening and goes on the defensive. So think carefully before you speak.
  5. Pray together. Again, this brings agreement, but more importantly, brings God into the conversation.
  6. Dream together and write a vision. Understanding the purpose for your marriage should drive you and your spouse to accomplish God’s will for your life. Whether His reason is for you to raise your children a certain way, to start a business, to start a non-profit organization, to start a prayer meeting in your community, or to sing, every couple has a purpose.
  7. Know your spouse and why she does what she does (for example, is it based on her upbringing? military background? being from a single-parent home? growing up poor?). Knowing this will help you to communicate more effectively. For example, if your spouse grew up poor, then you can understand why she responds a certain way when you spend a lot of money. Because of your spouse’s past, she might be used to people telling her to not spend as much or feelings of poverty may rear their ugly head.
  8. Communicate with your spouse—he is not a mind reader. You must communicate your wants and desires.
  9. Know what your spouse expects from you (such as dinner every night, or a phone call to let her know you are okay). You have been with your spouse long enough to know what she expects.

    10.  Understand what your mate is trying to say. Men are definitely from Mars and women are different from Venus. We can speak the same things, but in different ways. Understanding your spouse’s background and gender, and knowing his heart, will help you to decipher what he is really trying to say. For example, your spouse may have a hard time expressing love verbally but may be able to express it physically, giving you hugs or kisses that say, “I love you.”

    11.  Forgive one another. Every marriage, including yours, will get to a point at which your spouse will do something to hurt you. At the end of that day, make up in your mind to forgive your spouse. If you don’t, that unforgiveness will grow day by day until your heart is hardened or your ears get dull and you no longer want to hear what he has to say. Those are walls that start the separation process. Don’t let that happen. Forgive and move on. God says that He gives us new mercies every day; therefore, because He has given freely, you should give freely, too.

    12.  Complement and say “I love you” and “I appreciate you” often. By doing this every day, this is something that can keep a marriage peaceful and strong.

    13.  Know the best time to talk with your mate. If your spouse is not a morning person, 7 AM is not the best time to have a serious conversation. If your spouse needs an hour after work to relax, wait to have that heart-to-heart.

    14.  Conduct family meetings regularly. This allows you to discuss what’s going on with the child(ren), plan dates and vacations, agree about large purchases, and other important matters.

    15.   Control your emotions. Keep your mouth shut! DO NOT discuss issues when either of you is upset. If your spouse is trying to discuss a matter while angry, find a way to let her cool off first. For example, excuse yourself to the bathroom and go pray. If you are the one who is upset, definitely pray first and wait until you are able to speak nicely. 

© Jewell R. Powell, the Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. For more information, visit





Marriage is Like a Bank: Top 10 Deposits to Make Today


We’ve all heard that success is a journey, not a destination. I say that marriage is a journey, not a destination. In other words you have to constantly work at building a successful relationship; it doesn’t just happen. We know that the cares of this world: career, children, household chores, other family members, and more take up so much of our time that by the end of the day, we have nothing left to give to our spouses. In turn, our marriages are missing the very core of what it should have: love.

 A successful marriage is not based on a couple having no challenges or disagreements. But it is based on how they communicate with one another day after day. The definition of communicate is: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior (words or deeds); to open into each other: connect. Therefore, communicating is connecting to one another on a daily basis to strengthen and enrich your marriage. I am not talking about the day in and day out of the routine of marriage – a peck on the cheek, “Have a nice day” – to a call in the middle of the day to discuss the children or why you will be home late – to a peck on the cheek and lights out.

Marriage is a lot like a bank account. A successful couple makes daily deposits – ways to make their marriage a priority. Below are ten ways to deposit love (and they’re FREE!):

  1. Kiss them passionately
  2. Send an ecard (,,
  3. Watch their favorite show or do their favorite activity
  4. Hug them and tell them how much you love and appreciate them
  5. Make love to them (yes have SEX!)
  6. Put the kids down early, fix a nice healthy dessert, light a candle, and just talk
  7. Start a tradition (every week to take a walk, etc.)
  8. Play a board game/cards
  9. Find a poem or quote (internet, library, or write one) that will express your feelings (either send it or read it to them)
  10. Pamper your spouse after work

 Dating should not stop once you are married. Continue to court one another and offer tokens of love and appreciation. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, but little signs of gratitude and courtship can go a long way to enhance your relationship.

 © Jewell R. Powell, the Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. For more information, visit